hall of name

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(1) My name is Kaylee Ann. I go by Kaylee. My parents chose my first name because it means “keeper of the keys” or “pure” and gave me my middle name because it is a maternal family tradition. When I was born, my grandparents were a little shocked by my parents’ choice because the name was not directly derived from the Bible, though now they do not seem to mind. As I grew, my name was one of the first words I learned and I was able to recognize myself as Kaylee. Although I imagine this is true of all children, my name was important to me and became a title, a link to myself. My name is me and, especially as a child, there was no distinction between me and the name Kaylee. My name is a part of my identity. There have not been any very famous celebrities with the name Kaylee or situations involving any Kaylee’s, so there are not many general connotations associated with my name. This has allowed me to adopt this name and not feel much outside pressure or stereotyping about how my name defines me. I do not feel that it defines me so much that my name is a title for my being and person. I believe that I am working to establish a definition for my name so that those around me will associate “Kaylee” with my traits.

(2) Duality is the contrast of two aspects of one thing, or in my case, one person. I am a different persons in different environments. I do not believe that either of these persons is my “true” self, but that all of them are part of a greater whole. While my mannerisms, actions, or words may change, my core values and beliefs are constant. My environment can change how I think or how I behave. I am an introvert, always have been, and so I am much louder and sociable around people I already know, or in small groups. In larger groups, particularly around those whom I do not know, I am usually quiet; I am still thinking in the same way, but not willing to vocalize myself in the same way. I generally exist more as an individual with less people around, because I allow myself to fall back in to a group.

This coexistence of selves is also present when it comes to my family. My role in my house is a sister and step-sister, and the oldest daughter. I have responsibilities; I help my parents, drive my sisters around, and am generally viewed as studious. My family is important to me and they all helped to shape me in to who I am, but I am more than just a sister or daughter. I am also an individual with personal goals; I have my own ideas about where I want to live, what it means to successful, as well as about politics, religion, and even humor. It is not that they do not know me as an individual, it is that they perceive me through a tainted lens. My loyalty to my family is one part of me and most of the time takes precedence, especially because I live with my family. The duality is usually only a dilemma when my loyalty is split, like between spending time with family or friends, or working for my own goal or helping a shared cause.